Bacon Sriracha Unicorn Diaries

Eat24 Dad Joke Contest Winners REVEALED

June 15, 2017

A few weeks back, we kicked off a contest looking for the world’s very best/worst dad joke. And boy did we get them. 617,000,000 (give or take a few 0) glorious dad joke entries.

We gathered a panel of dads, grads, moms, humans and even a porcupine or two (porcupines have a very sophisticated sense of humor) and went through every single joke in search of the very best.

There were ‘moaners’, ‘groaners’, ‘eye-rollers’, and even a few ‘slamming-our-head-against-the-keyboard-screaming-why-why-why-ers’.

Basically we were this embarrassed cat.

And this unimpressed giraffe.

But mostly we were this fed up walrus.

After much debate (plus a snack break) we are proud to announce the winner of the Yelp Eat24 Best Dad Joke Contest 2017.

Why did the stoplight turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street  #DadJoke

Congrats to Katelyn M‏ (@Katelyn594M). May you enjoy all the pizza coming your way. If you get an extra large there will be MUSH-ROOM for toppings. Or if you’re feeling like sushi, get a side of dumplings. Just make sure you never let GYOZA those chopsticks. But if you’re looking for spaghetti, just make sure you get the real stuff, not an IMPASTA.


Whew. Sorry about that. Anyway, the following dads, future dads, or just future Yelp Eat24 joke writers are below.

What’s the difference between a man wearing jeans on a bicycle and a man wearing a tuxedo on a unicycle?
Attire. #DadJoke 
Adam B.‏ @DontStpAdamBlvn

What do you call an extra vegetable?
A spare, I guess. #dadjoke –Stephen Christensen

Q: What happens when frogs park illegally?
A: They get toad. #DadJoke 
‎Myla Fe Poh‎

I tell dad jokes, but I don’t have kids.
I’m a faux pas. #DadJoke 
‎Austin David‎

There were just so many terribly, terribly wonderful Dad jokes. It would be a shame to let them never see the light of day, so here are a few favorites that didn’t quite make the cut.

 How do you make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles #dadjoke -@young_godiva

When Eat24 was bought, how did it react? With a @Yelp #DadJoke – @merlinpatt77

What do you call a snobby criminal walking downstairs?
A condescending con descending. #dadjoke- @bethanie_boo

I have developed a terrible fear of elevators.
I’ve started taking steps to avoid them. –@DontStpAdamBlvn

What is Whitney Houston’s favorite coordination?
Hand eyeeeeeeieyyye! –
via James Hong

If you want to share a terrible joke with us (or wax poetic on how breadsticks kinda look like the Tower of Pisa), we’re always around on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram.

  • ­­

    so… where are the runner up dad jokes …..

  • Cazart

    SOBER UP AND GIVE US THE RUNNER-UP JOKES. Or at least just give us the runner-up jokes.

  • EonHo Chang

    Humanity is alive

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