Bacon Sriracha Unicorn Diaries

advice Archive

❤️ Couches? ❤️ Garlic Bread?

January 24, 2018

Lately we’ve been getting a lot of questions about couch maintenance and the best way to keep a sofa happy and comfortable. Since nachos taste best when eaten on the couch, here are a couple tips to promote optimal performance: Rotate your cushions once a year (or, just sit on […]

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Top 10 Chairs: Don’t Sit Down Until You Read This

January 10, 2018

Author’s note: This article is best enjoyed in a seated position, next to a warm beverage. You know chairs? Yes, those furniture items commonly supported by four legs, and always supporting your tuckus. In a world of standing desks, hanging bookshelves, and taxidermy, chairs get overlooked. But today we honor […]

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5 Ways To Avoid The Stale Donut In Your Office

October 05, 2017

Picture this hypothetical situation that definitely doesn’t happen to us: Your coworker brings in donuts every Friday and you only eat three. Come Monday, you go into work and see that familiar pink box still sitting in the kitchen. There’s a maple bar inside (your favorite) and it looks good. […]

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Shoop Shoop Coupon

September 29, 2017

Hello email reader, This is email writer. It’s been a while since we’ve heard from you. Need anything written this weekend? How about a letter of recommendation? Perfect for job recruiters, blind dates, or anyone who doesn’t know about your great smile, sauce-dipping skills, and all-around good person-ness. Drop us […]

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Soft-Hitting News & A Coupon 🎾

August 04, 2017

What’s the difference between people and paninis*? People make mistakes. Below are corrections to last week’s email: The number of sloths in Yugoslavia* is 7. Our favorite donut is actually old-fashioned glazed. Gavin Rossdale is not single. We referenced a movie trilogy in the wrong order. It should be: The […]

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16 Reasons Eat24 Customers Rock (All 16 Involve Keytars)

June 20, 2017

So a few weeks ago, we asked all you musical geniuses, “What happened to the Keytar?” Personally, we had thought that the keytar was a has-been. Apparently, not only is it alive, it’s still making a name for itself entertaining folks from all walks of life. So without further ado, […]

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He gives the best advice!

A Commencement Speech by Eat24

May 29, 2017

Hello, Class of 2017, teachers, parents, and fellow chipotle mayonnaise enthusiasts! Thanks for inviting us to speak today. We are honored to be here at [insert fancy university name here] and excited to congratulate you on all your achievements, especially your woo hoo-ing skills [pause for probably at least 15 minutes of […]

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America’s Top 20 Breakup Foods

February 15, 2017

  Happy National Singles Awareness Day (officially recognized on February 15th, but as a strong independent food delivery app who don’t need no man, we believe every day is a good day to love yourself). Whether you’re newly single or usually single, no one likes a breakup. We know. We’ve […]

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A Hot Buttered Coupon

December 01, 2016

Looking for the perfect gift for that special someone (or that kinda okay someone)? Try this. Burn your holiday shopping list and order some fried rice. While you’re at it, send everyone you know a box of fried rice. Your mailman? Fried rice. Neighbor’s dog? Fried rice. Your co-worker, whose […]

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Eat24 Goobles Thanksgiving

14 Ways to Avoid Awkward Situations This Thanksgiving

November 22, 2016

While Thanksgiving is a wonderful time for side dishes, it’s less wonderful for dinner conversations. Every year there’s someone (usually an Uncle) who says something that makes you wish you were anywhere else. Next time a family member asks about work, who you voted for, or why you haven’t given […]

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Ask And You Shall Receive An EAT24 Coupon

April 23, 2015

Hi, it’s EAT24. We know you aren’t just a mouth and stomach. You have feelings, dreams, desires… just like our emotionally available app. Likewise, we aren’t just an online “make food happen” service. We’re also great listeners. So if you ever have any burning questions about love, life, or chicken […]

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Weekend Coupon: Commencement Speech

May 30, 2014

Yay Class of 2014!   Dear Harvard, Princeton, Yale, MIT, and the thousands of other very, very prestigious universities, Thank you for choosing Eat24 to be your commencement speaker. It’s an honor! Unfortunately we won’t be able to attend the ceremony because we’re very busy feeding America, and waxing to […]

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Ask Eat24: Dating Advice for Taco Lovers

November 11, 2013

  In case you didn’t know, our pimp hand is strong. With the ladies, with the gentleman, with the inflatable pool toys we keep in our kitchen. We’ve got the moves that make the living and the inanimate swoon. The best part? We want to help you bring your pimp […]

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