Re: Impending Stove Uprising
Greetings from the future! We’re emailing you from the year 2020 with a very important message: Whatever happens this weekend, do not touch your stove.
We don’t have time to get into all the details, but if you cook you’ll create a domino effect that will to lead to a stove uprising (i.e. a post-apocalyptic future where ovens rule the world and there aren’t any fuzzy slippers, couches, or delivery apps for people who love food but hate pants 😱).
To save the world, use this coupon* to order something on your favorite Flapjack To The Future app. Humanity is depending on you.
You’re the crunch to our cracker.
*Time travel technology isn’t the only thing we’ve been working on in our spare time. Behold! A few other recent innovations. 1) Cheese Gas: Yes, we know the name needs work but aren’t you at least curious about what lies beyond solid and liquid cheeses? That’s where gas cheese comes in. 2) Pants Be Gone: This fancy device is part fog machine, part pants remover. Just say ‘I hate you, pants!’ and your pants will be off by the time the fog disappears. Comfy and convenient! 3) Fine Print Sleep Trance: This $2 coupon expires on Sunday, December 3rd 2017 at 11:59PM Pacific Time. You must have an Eat24 account to use our code, which can only be used once on an order with a total over $15 before tax and tip when paying with Credit Card, Apple Pay, Android Pay, or PayPal. The coupon is valid only on Eat24.com or the Eat24 app. Well, since everyone just fell asleep reading that, we can say anything now, right? Awesome. Here’s something we’ve always wanted to say: Alligator butts.
Inspirational Quote for the Weekend: Say no to stoves, say yes to pajamas.