Bacon Sriracha Unicorn Diaries

Quiz: What’s Your Dream Job?

October 25, 2016

Should cake lovers be lawyers? Should wing fanatics go into sales? We don’t know. But we do know if you answer these simple questions, our super fancy quiz will tell you what to do with your life.

1. Your most common nightmare is that…
You’re trying to pay your rent in cookies
You’re being chased by a stove
You’re a student again and show up only wearing underwear... also, you forgot to bring a lunch
Your dog can talk...and is demanding you make him breakfast
2. When you were in high school, who were you?
Nerd: You knew so many facts about BBQ
Class clown: You made a lot of bacon puns
Bully: You’d snatch someone’s pudding snack so fast
The kid who really loved string cheese
3. Besides a vampire burrito, the scariest thing you can think of is:
Werewolf Pad Thai
Grim Reaper Egg Rolls
Frankenstein Tater Tots
Being forced to wear pants
4. Which of the following is the most important to you at a job?
Getting paid enough to eat filet mignon every night
Free granola bars in the break room
Coworkers who bring in homemade brownies.
A sense of fulfillment. Emphasis on the full part.
5. If you had $1 million dollars, what’s the first thing you’d do?
Hire a personal sushi chef
Invest in pizza technology
Quit your job to become a professional napper
Eat $1 million worth of tacos
6. What was your favorite subject in school?
Math, especially counting M&Ms
English (favorite word=glaze)
Science, though you only used the bunsen burner to make queso dip
History. Specifically, the history of pie.
7. What’s your favorite hobby?
Sports: Basketball, Football, Meatball.
Reading restaurant menus
Eating out. Or eating in. Basically, eating.
Crafty things. Like knitting scarves with spaghetti.
8. What’s your work style?
The Collaborator: You work with HR to institute a no pants policy
The Dreamer: You imagine how cool it would be if the copier had pizza-scented paper
The Do-er: You take the initiative and order wings to the office
The Organizer: You arrange lunches in the fridge from most to least delicious
Quiz: What's Your Dream Job?
Karate Teacher
As a Karate Teacher, you’ll help your students gain strength by deadlifting corn dogs, show them the art of chopping through a block of cheese with their bare hands, and eventually have the pleasure of seeing each of them earn a black belt in taco-eating. Just remember: Students respond to positive reinforcement, especially cake.
Quiz: What's Your Dream Job?
Psychologist
Reoccurring dreams about garlic fries, obsessive thoughts about pie, and salad-related depression. These are just a few of the important issues you will help your clients address. At least, that’s what we plan to talk with you about in our first session together.
Quiz: What's Your Dream Job?
Guinness World Record Holder
Maybe you’ll bench press the world’s heaviest sushi roll, maybe you’ll build the tallest cheeseburger, or maybe just maybe you’ll invent food teleportation and set the record for fastest delivery. No matter what you do though, the world will be forever better (and tastier) because of you.
Quiz: What's Your Dream Job?
Garden Artist
You’re the kind of person who likes to work with your hands and help gardens overflow with fresh pizza, doughnuts, and burgers. You’ll also trim hedges to look like belgian waffles, plant flowers to grow in the shape of sushi rolls, and build foot paths made of garlic bread. At least, that’s what we want you to do to our garden.

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