Bacon Sriracha Unicorn Diaries

Quiz: What Type Of Pizza Should You Marry?

September 07, 2016

Finding your soulmate might seem overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. Just take this quiz and we’ll help you find The One within minutes!

1. When I see someone attractive, I usually lead with…
So, how many steaks do you eat each week?
If I asked you to cover me in doughnuts, would you do it?
I ordered fries to your table. Can I stay?
Do your political beliefs support my right to eat cookies?
2. What’s on your favorite pair of pajamas?
Ranch Dip
A picture of my dog
I sleep naked
3. What’s more relaxing?
Eating cake
Watching cheese melt
Hanging out with the couch
Waiting for the delivery guy
4. How would you describe yourself?
Easy-going: I’m down for sushi, burgers, tacos, whatever!
Intelligent: I have a PhD in Tater Tots
Funny: I’ve got Gouda puns for days
Thoughtful: I’m always thinking about how to love bacon more
5. Do you believe in love at first bite?
Yes, I felt it when I tasted my first cookie
Yes, but the problem is I love too much.
No, you really need to understand Ramen before you can love it.
No, but I believe in love at first smell.
6. What kind of anniversary gift would you like to receive from your partner?
Bacon roses
Something practical. Like a couch.
Breakfast in bed.
Gold. Or something golden fried.
7. What’s your favorite smell?
Burgers grilling
Bread baking
Coffee brewing
Chow mein...meining
8. Describe your ideal Friday night…
Passing out after too many milk shakes
Hanging out at a bar, then drunk eat garlic fries
Relaxing in a bath of miso broth
Dinner and a movie. Then, second dinner.
9. Who's your favorite rapper?
Grand Master Flash-fried
DJ Salad
A$AP Rocky Road
What Kind of Pizza Should You Marry?
Pepperoni Pizza
A message from your soulmate… I’m salty, I’m delicious, and I’m all yours. So, why are we destined to get married? For starters, because you love circles. Duh. But also, because I’m a classic pizza with a great sense of humor, an adventurous personality, and a willingness to help out with household chores. Just kidding, I’m only a pizza. But I’m your pizza and I’ll make you and your stomach happy forever if you let me.
What Kind of Pizza Should You Marry?
Plain Cheese Pizza
A message from your soulmate… Hey there! I just want to start off by saying that marrying me, a plain cheese pizza, does not mean you are basic. I can’t emphasize that enough. We’re soulmates because you like the fact that I don’t cover up who I truly am with silly toppings or extra sauces. I am who I am...crust, marinara, and cheese. And you love cheese.
What Kind of Pizza Should You Marry?
Deep Dish Pizza
A message from your soulmate… Look, I know I’m controversial in the pizza world. Some people claim I’m not even a pizza. But not you. That’s because you understand pizza comes in all shapes, sizes, and cheese-sauce ratios. If you choose to accept me as your life partner, I know we can have a great life together as we celebrate our very deep (approximately 3” thick) love.
What Kind of Pizza Should You Marry?
Pizza Pockets
A message from your soulmate… I’m proof that good things come in small packages. Want to travel together? No problem! I’ll easily fit in your carry-on luggage. Want to have kids? I saved you some trouble by making a million tiny me’s. Need the oil changed on your car? I don’t know how to do that, but I know a guy who does. Long story short, I’ll fill your life with love, cheese, and the topping of your choosing.

  • OMG “Deep Dish Pizza” was the scientifically accurate result!

  • Jeff Richards

    It appears I am marrying a Deep Dish Pizza too

  • Marilyn

    It appears I’m marrying pepperoni pizza and that’s okay because I love pepperoni pizza

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