Bacon Sriracha Unicorn Diaries

Quiz: What Should You Order On Your Date With Ryan?

December 06, 2017
Are you getting ready for your date with Ryan Gosling? Of course you are. Why else would you be taking a break from work to do this quiz? Anyway, just answer these eight questions and we'll let you know exactly what to order when the time comes.
1. When you arrive at a restaurant, the first thing you usually do is:
Dismount your pony.
Ask someone if they want their food boxed up, then run out the door with it.
Pick up the menu to correct all grammatical and spelling errors.
Check to see if Ryan Gosling is there. If not, leave.
2. Your ideal date involves…
Whispering “cheese” at each other while also eating cheese.
A couch, lots of blankets, and the romantic flicker of the TV.
Dates like 12/12 or 3/3 are best.
You’ve never been on a date; you’re waiting for Ryan Gosling.
3. If you were in charge of wine flavor profiles, ____ undertones would exist.
Deep fried cheesecake
Rainbow glitter
After dinner affogato
Soylent
4. 4. What was your favorite after school snack in elementary school?
Pudding cups (specifically, S’mores flavor)
Fruit Roll Ups (punch out space shapes only)
Dunk-A-Roos (Chocolate > Rainbow sprinkles)
Bagel Bites (plain cheese forever)
5. What kind of research are you doing to prepare for the date?
Watching all his movies backwards to look for secret messages.
Positive affirmations, beauty rest, and tacos
Practicing the way you say “Hey” and “Ryan” in the mirror
Hired actor to play you and are studying their moves
6. What should this Ryan meme say?
Hey girl, is your name Google? Cuz you have everything I'm searching for.
Hey girl, touch my shirt. It's made of boyfriend material.
Hey girl, I love the way you turned those mason jars into candles.
Hey girl, I heard you liked beards so I grew one last night.
7. You ordered something online at 3AM. What was it?
Pajamas for your dog
Four cases of Sriracha
Monthly glowstick subscription
Waffle delivery for 10am to cure hangover
8. Which clickbait link would you definitely click?
Has Science Gone Too Far? Pig-Human Hybrid Revealed!
Are You Actually An Alien? Ten Signs To Look For!
Celebrity Pets Who Ended Up In Jail!
Real Life: This Woman Got Stuck In A Pickle Jar!
What Should You Order On Your Date With Ryan?
California Rolls
Do not let the waiter try to convince you to diversify your sushi order. It is imperative you only order California Rolls. They are Ryan’s favorite and this is exactly what he was going to order. Why do this? Because when he hears you say it, you two are going to have an eye-locky moment of new BFF-y proportions. Magic!
What Should You Order On Your Date With Ryan?
Ramen
This is a bold order that shows confidence. You aren’t afraid to slurp. You aren’t afraid to splatter. And you definitely aren’t afraid to spend the first 20 minutes of the meal blowing on your food. Just be careful you don’t get dizzy and fall over. It will make Ryan feel weird.
What Should You Order On Your Date With Ryan?
Mac 'N Cheese
Macaroni and cheese isn’t just for kids. Ryan knows this and so do you. Pro Tip: As soon as the waiter leaves, reach into your bag and pull out some pogs, a Tamagotchi, and a Game Boy... it’s time to bond over 90s toys. Did you just make a BFF forever? Definitely. Is the maître d going to come over to ask you two to leave? Possibly, but you’re leaving with Ryan Gosling so whatever!
What Should You Order On Your Date With Ryan?
Cheesecake
You’re cool, you’re casual, and you aren’t afraid to eat cheesecake for dinner in front of Ryan Gosling. Ordering this also offers you a great opportunity to talk to Ryan extensively about your deepest baked good feelings: Chocolate chips are BS and chocolate chunks are supreme. Pie is inferior to cake. Biscuits over scones any day.

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