Bacon Sriracha Unicorn Diaries

Quiz: What Food Were You In A Past Life?

September 24, 2015

If you’re like most people, you’ve probably wondered what food you were in a previous life. A pepperoni pizza? A breakfast burrito? Or maybe a simple, salt-of-the-earth beet? These are serious questions that need serious answers. Take the quiz to find out once and for all.

1. What type of music would you most prefer to do a gymnastics routine to?
Chopped N Screwed Britney Spears
DJ Jazzy Jeff
Weird Al
Bacon Sizzling
2. Pick a new nickname for yourself:
DJ Taco
Captain Cheese
Funk Master Meatball
Sassy McWing Sauce
3. If you had to use a wing sauce as a mouthwash, which would you choose?
Mango Habanero
Teriyaki
Sweet BBQ
Vegan
4. What are you looking forward to when it comes to the discovery of life on other planets?
Human-Alien fusion foods
The possibility that something better than Laz-E-Boys exist
Finally learning a foreign language
Hearing the alien equivalent of Beyonce
5. What does true love look like?
Sacrifice. Also, ribs.
Ordering cheese fries because that’s what she wants even though you prefer tots
Letting him have the last slice of pizza
Ignoring the fact that his friends triple dip their egg rolls
6. Is there ever a good reason to give up?
Yes, about as many reasons as there are wing flavors
No. You never give up because bacon would never give up
Why even start? All the blankets and pillows are on the couch.
Only if you’ve run out of cheesy bread.
7. Which word is your favorite?
Glazed
Fried
Smothered
Steaming
8. What do you think about Cheese Lovers’ Pizza?
Only people who’ve shown their dedication to cheese should be able to order it.
Not as good as Meat Lovers’ Pizza.
Bor-ing.
It’s the best way to get cheese drunk.
9. If you had to pick a favorite color, which would you choose?
Pepperoni Red
Caramelized Banana Golden Brown
Perfectly Ripened Avocado Green
Yellow Curry...Yellow
What Food Were You In a Past Life?
Poutine
You may or may not be part-Canadian, but you were definitely gravy-covered, cheesy french fries in a past life. How can we tell? Well, first of all, you smell amazing. Like, seriously, we’d buy your scent as an air freshener. And second of all, we guarantee if you go eat some poutine right now, you’ll gain a deeper connection with your past food self.
What Food Were You In a Past Life?
A Bowl of Lucky Charms
In a past life, you were magically delicious. No doubt about it. That means chances are high that you’re still magically delicious now. After all, when your best friend and biggest supporter is a leprechaun, you can’t help but be lucky. So viva la marshmallow glory and feel free to speak with an Irish accent (and/or drink lots of Guinness) when you feel like it. You’ve earned the right.
What Food Were You In a Past Life?
Wings
Do you ever dream of flying? Of course you do. You were chicken wings in a past life so it’s only natural to spend your sleeping hours soaring through the air. Another thing that’s natural is your love of tangy, spicy, smoky, and sweet sauces. Oh, and dry rubs. Can’t forget dry rubs. Anyway, kudos on having Wing Wednesday named in your honor.
What Food Were You In a Past Life?
Pho
You probably already knew this, but you’re basically a superhero. One minute you’re curing colds, the next you’re acting like a personal face-steaming sauna. Seriously, how do you do it? Nevermind, don’t answer that. We like to keep things mysterious and would rather just marvel at how completely mind-blowingly awesome you are.

  • Bridget Smith

    Did I win?

  • creebutt

    But I dont even like chicken wings. I despise them in fact.

  • lexx b0t

    Me too, I was hoping for chocolate or something

  • creebutt

    Totally!

  • Neophile1

    I suspect that this quiz was rigged!

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