Marketers take note: Do not let a turkey take over your Twitter account.
Listen, we know what you’re thinking: But Eat24, I get messages every day from turkeys claiming they can boost my engagement 900% and help me get millions of new followers in just a few hours. First of all, everyone gets those emails. Second of all, turkeys are liars. We know that because over Thanksgiving we decided to let one of them (he said his name was Goobz) take over our Twitter account. What a mistake.
We love you and we want you to be successful in all of your endeavors, so we put together a definitive list we hope will convince you to never hire a turkey to tweet.
- Turkeys are not professional
Case in point, Goobz tweeted out a bunch of turkey porn (thighs, breasts, feathers, wattles). Also, he demanded we pay him in worms and then proceeded to eat them at Chris’ desk while he was on vacation. Not cool.
- Turkeys promote anti-turkey-eating agendas
Look at it this way: Most of our customers are not turkeys (check your user demographics–it’s highly likely yours are also not turkeys). That means our customers, for the most part, eat turkey. Roasted turkey, deep fried turkey, brined turkey, stuffed turkey, turkey sandwiches, turkey salads, turkey bacon (Just kidding, no one eats turkey bacon). Point is, chatting with a bird you want to eat is awkward.
- Turkeys < Potatoes
Another reason Goobz failed was because people missed Potato Sam, the multi-eyed starch crop who took over our Twitter last Summer. Turns out, potatoes do it better than turkeys. Waaaay better. And people remembered. Like this person:
And this person:
And this person who just wanted Goobz gone:
- Turkeys are boring
The main problem was that people just didn’t react. Seriously, our Twitter engagement rate was down 42% from the previous two Thanksgivings.
Maybe turkeys just aren’t exciting or controversial enough for today’s Internet. Never once did Goobz initiate hot topics like duck migration, pizza toppings, or that new zombie show.
Here’s a sample of what he did talk about:
Fittingly, Goobz’ most popular tweet was the one when he announced he was leaving our Twitter and launching himself into “space.” Two days later, turkey jerky mysteriously appeared in the office kitchen.
- You can’t repeat the past and expect success (especially with a turkey)
It’s hard to admit this, but since Potato Sam was such a hit, we thought it would be easy to replicate his success. Since it was Thanksgiving, using a turkey seemed like a no-brainer. But the truth is, you have to move forward and try new things. You can’t always repeat the past, particularly when your past involves giving root vegetables or poultry your Twitter password.
New ideas are the best ideas.
In conclusion, don’t hire a turkey to do a human’s job.