Bacon Sriracha Unicorn Diaries

How to Get a Raise. Spoiler Alert: Tacos

October 24, 2013

Chinese takeout box cubicle prank

Eat24 wants to buy lunch for your whole office. Why? Because we like to party. Also because we want your feedback on our new Shared Cart feature. So if you think you and your co-workers deserve a raise (in the form of 10,000 Deep Fried Wontons (Actual wonton amount may vary, and it’s probably nowhere near 10,000 (triple parenthetical))), just head over here and enter for a chance to get a free Office Party catered by Eat24.  All we ask in return is your honest feedback. With your help, we can make Shared Cart even more kick ass. So give it a good workout and report back on your delicious findings.

Have you entered yet?

How about now?

Now?

Why aren’t you filling out the form right now?

Listen, we know typing is hard, but so is boiling water. Why not just avoid that whole kitchen situation entirely by allowing us to cater your office lunch party? Honestly, we didn’t really think we’d need to convince you to do this. But, OK. Fine. Here are some other reasons to use Eat24 at work:

1) The Hangry Button
Our built-in “Hangry” button allows you to say “Make up your #$%&ing mind, Steve!” without saying a word

douche coffee mug

This is Steve.

2) Cheeseburgers = Profit
A recent study conducted by the Harvard Business School revealed that bacon cheeseburgers increase productivity by more than 87%**
**404: Study not found

Cheeseburger profit growth chart

Add bacon for increased ROI

3) Vending Machine Buffet: No.
Stop trying to make soup out of Red Bull and Trail Mix. Just stop it.

Vending machine fail

Life before Shared Cart

4) It’s Like A Secretary for Your Stomach!
Or a corner office for your mouth. Either way, it’s awesome.

Funny office stamps - fuck off

Cool memo, Suzy.

5) More “You” Time
Save your lunch break for more important things, like using your company’s high speed Internet to watch porn.

Funny office sign

 

6) Stank Insurance
When you order with a group, no one can blame a weird smell on any one person. So go ahead and order those fish and chips and let Dave’s hot wings hide the evidence.
Warning 3-Bean Chili

7) Party Fun Time
It’s kind of like a company retreat except instead of trust falls, you get egg rolls.

Turtle Falling gif

The opposite of this.

8) Avoid Email Tragedy
Drastically reduce your odds of being injured/maimed in a tragic Reply All accident.

Bear in cubicle office prank.

0 Days Without Injury

And last but not least, HELLO. HI. FREE FOOD. So yeah. Use that keyboard for something useful (for once) and enter your company for a chance to test out Shared Cart with a free Office Party catered by Eat24. You’ll be glad you did.

Did reading this make you hangry? Perfect. We know an incredibly convenient app that wants to make you lunch. Go get delivery, genius.

 

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