Bacon Sriracha Unicorn Diaries

HOLY COUSIN OF COW, IT’S YAK WEEK

July 19, 2017

Tune in Monday July 24 – Friday July 28 to the world premier of Yak Week, a stampede of events dedicated to the bovine pleasures of life, rolling hills, extreme sports, cultural awakening, and absolutely zero animals that rhyme with “blark.” To see the full yak-tacular lineup, scroll to the end of this article. To hear about its humble beginnings, keep reading.

You probably know that the Eat24 Marketing Team loves wild animals. It’s a little known fact that they make up 44% of the content we publish. If you’re a long-time reader, you may remember past furry friends such as Cheeseburger Chihuahua, Mailer Daemon, and Goobz the Thanksgiving Failure Turkey.

In the past we dedicated only a day, or a weekend at most to these chosen animals, but what if we gave them a whole week in the spotlight? What animal would be cute enough, interesting enough and awe-inspiring enough for an entire week?

We decided to put the decision in the hands of smarter people (aka our customers) by running a poll on Twitter.

Bets were wagered. Thousands voted. Manatees won by a landslide.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t until after the poll that we realized manatees are extremely high-maintenance creatures. They’re like the Kardashians of the sea. To make Manatee Week happen, it would cost us thousands of dollars, which just isn’t in the budget.

So, sorry to disappoint 65% of you, but we’re going with the more affordable yaks. Hey, at least they came in second place. If you’re still not convinced, maybe our lineup mir-yak-ulous programming will help:

Live Yak Kam

A live “feed” (get it?) of some of the most popular grazing pastures. Watch out!

Landscaper vs. Yak

Join us as we travel to overgrown and disgusting home gardens around the world, alongside an experienced landscape architect and a ravenous yak. Both will try to tame the land, but only one will tame our hearts.

Stranger Rings: The Mystery of Dhakmar

Are Yaks behind the new batch of crop circles popping up around the Nepalese countryside? Follow field investigators and manure experts as they get to the bottom of this modern-day mystery. It’ll be spook-yak-ular!

Yak Can Cook!

This beloved public broadcast cooking show returns with a special edition where Yak creates a 4-layer meadowgrass and lichen mud pie for his daughter’s birthday.

Yak & The City: Miami

A herd of young and trendy professional Yaks explain what it’s like to live, love, and graze in The Magic City. Bienvenidos a Miami!

National Yak Radio (NYR)

Featuring timeless shows like “This American Yak”, “All Yaks Considered,” and the hit game show “Wait Wait, Don’t Yak Me!”

CNN, But With Yaks

Breaking world news involving the Yak community. Unbiased. Uncompromised. 100% Yak fact-checked. Because the world is watching (at least the yak world).

YAKDOWN 2K17

They’ve trained their entire lives for this moment. This year’s triathlon includes a rugged downhill skiing maze, a five kilometer race, and a karaoke battle to see who takes home the golden horn. Zing!

Yakmania!

A rundown of the greatest moments from Yak Week 2017, featuring the loudest grunts, biggest bites, longest treks, and viewers’ top picks for the best of Yak Week history.

True Stories: I Survived Being Roommates With A Yak.

You uproot your life and move across the country for a new beginning. But once you get there, you realize your new roommate has two extra legs, and a pair of horns. This new reality show follows the trials and tribulations of living with a beloved but misunderstood species. Hijinks abound!

Excited now? The wait’s almost over–Yak Week kicks off on Monday, July 24 on Facebook Live, and also in our hearts. Also, be sure to follow us on Twitter to get real-time updates for a season you won’t want to miss.

  • Don Bourassa

    Will we be hearing Yakety Sax theme music at any time during this week?

  • ­­

    um… i think those “yaks” with CNN are Llamas, Eat24, get your sources straight sheesh!!

  • Karen Ann Yaksich Kurlander

    The reddish bovine in the first picture under the chart is a Scottish Highland cow, not a yak.

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