Bacon Sriracha Unicorn Diaries

Can We Guess Your Middle Name With This Quiz?

April 26, 2017
We spend most of our time eating pancakes and bacon and french toast and omelettes. But when we aren’t busy eating, we use our psychic powers to guess people’s middle names. It’s pretty much our only party trick. Just answer these questions and you’ll see how strong our powers are.
1. As a kid, you were always going on and on about…
The nutritional benefits of burritos
Why the tooth fairy should pay more
How great it would be if the dog could talk
Sharks, dinosaurs, and the possibility of aliens
2. Your parents chose your real middle name…
In honor your mother’s childhood rabbit
So your initials would spell something cool
Because it rhymed with hamburger
To give you an alternative to the terrible first name they chose
3. If a new constellation is discovered, what do you hope it’s in the shape of?
A taco
A Yelp Eat24 coupon
The sock you lost
4. Your desktop is a picture of…
The guy who did the voice of Scooby Doo
Your dog’s Glamor Shots
Your old computer
A breadstick in lingerie
5. As a kid, you most often got in trouble for…
Drawing on the walls with ketchup
Eating sugar packets at restaurants
Keeping frogs in your room
You didn’t get in trouble. You got other people in trouble.
6. What song best describes you?
“Say Chow Mein” by Destiny’s Child
“I’m Veal” by JLo featuring Ja Rule
“Lovin’ This Club Sandwich” by Usher
“Sexy Snack” by Justin Timberlake
7. What was one of your chores as a kid?
Ordering dinner
Eating crumbs off the floor
Vacuuming cats
Testing the durability of electronics
8. What was your first word?
9. What did mom always used to say?
If you can’t say something nice, give ‘em some side eye.
Life isn’t fair. Now give me the last egg roll.
Be yourself. And give people money. People love money.
Never settle for raisins. Go for the chocolate chips.
Can We Guess Your Middle Name Based On This Quiz?
Having as a middle name tells everyone all they need to know: You’re way cooler than them. It also gives you the opportunity to tell the funny story of how your parents were really into the Internet and decided to commemorate their love of all things viral by making your middle name a URL. Sadly, they forgot to buy the domain name and a guy in Las Vegas told he wouldn’t sell it to you for less than $5 million. Oh well, it’s still a cool middle name.
Can We Guess Your Middle Name Based On This Quiz?
Whatever Your Name Is
Whatever Your Name Is: It’s a middle name as timeless as pizza or Taco Tuesday. We’re guessing your parents chose it because they had 17 children and as a result had a hard time remembering your first name. Fortunately, they thought ahead and gave you a middle name they could never forget. Jim, Tina, Tricia, Darren, Ed, oh, Whatever Your Name Is! Yup. That you.
Can We Guess Your Middle Name Based On This Quiz?
Copyright 1999
Your parents really believed in intellectual property and chose this as your middle name so no one else could ever have your name again. Clever. Anyway, it’s very unique middle name and we love it! PS please don’t sue us for using your name without permission.
Can We Guess Your Middle Name Based On This Quiz?
No Middle Name
You don’t have a middle name...or did you think our quiz wouldn’t be smart enough to detect that? Kudos to you though. You’re pretty clever to take a quiz like this to try and get us. Nice try! Oh, and if you took this quiz because you always wished you had a middle name...Fred. Use the middle name Fred. It’s a great name.

  • Jens Gotthis

    Wrong! It’s Copyright 1998 😛

  • Tanya Browning

    you guys are dorks

  • Kristin Smith


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