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Ask Eat24: Advice For Sandwich Lovers

April 23, 2015

askeat24_pizza_heart

 

 

Send us your questions about love, life, and pizza toppings. We’ll draw diagrams if necessary.

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 5 years and I’m starting to think he’s scared of commitment. I can barely get him to decide on a favorite type of cheese. How can I bring up the idea of getting married without making it weird?

-Sad About Neverending Dating, Why Is Commitment Hard?

Dear SANDWICH,

Lucky for you, we’re experts at not making it weird. Here’s what you do: Tomorrow morning, ask him if he wants to eat waffles for breakfast. Tell him you need a firm commitment either way.

yesnowaffles

This is what true love looks like.

When he says yes (because who doesn’t love waffles), casually ask if he’d like to eat waffles together every morning for the rest of your lives, ideally in a legally recognized union. He’ll be so focused on infinite waffles, his nerves about marriage will disappear.

wafflewife

So what if he sees waffles when he looks at you.

Let us know if you want us to take your engagement photos. And yes, of course we’ll bring some life-size waffles for you guys to pose with.

Love,

EAT24

 

I have a very simple question. Can I Eat25?

-Please Help Out

 Dear PHO,

You may think that’s a simple question, PHO, but it’s actually quite complex. It all depends on the earth’s distance from the sun, the moon’s gravitational pull, and the speed of pizza. We’re going to need a bit more information to help out. 

pizza science

Carry the 3 and…um…

Just kidding. It has nothing to do with any of those things. Yes, you can technically Eat25 but we highly encourage you to Eat24 instead.

Love,
Eat24

I caught my best friend and my girlfriend eating pizza on a Wednesday and am extremely upset. I thought it was super disrespectful of  the Wing Wednesday tradition and all that it stands for.  How can I move past this betrayal?

-Hurt And Mad

trust

The kitty has seen things.

Dear HAM,

Wings are the cornerstone of any relationship and ignoring their sacred nature is is a huge red flag.

However, if you think your best friend and girlfriend are worth it (and it sounds like you do), we recommend this recipe to repair your relationship:

3 orders of Garlic Parm
4 orders of Atomic Heat
3 orders of Sweet Thai
1 order of Caribbean Jerk
and 2 orders of Teriyaki

pacman

So many wings.

Once you guys finish all those wings, you’ll know they love wings as much as you and will never betray you again.

Love,
EAT24

 

Have questions you want answered? To paraphrase JLo, our advice don’t cost a thing. Hit us up on Twitter or leave a comment below. Missed the first Ask Eat24 column? Check it out here.

  • Guest

    there’s an on going battle with my significant other and I– Pizza vs wings.

    wings just don’t tickle my pickle like pizza does and my guy thinks i’m weird…

    I mean, who doesn’t love pizza?!?!

    What are your thoughts on this?

    -Pizza4Evr

  • Guest

    there’s an on going battle with my significant other and I– Pizza vs wings.

    wings just don’t tickle my pickle like pizza does and my guy thinks i’m weird…

    I mean, who doesn’t love pizza?!?!

    What are your thoughts on this?

    -Pzza4Evr

  • Who said you can’t have both?!

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