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9 Important Ways You Need To Be Using Googly Eyes

September 27, 2017

Who needs an intro? Not googly eyes. So let’s just cut to the chase.

1. Dieting Pal

Going on a diet? We don’t recommend it, but if you’re going to do it anyway, googly eyes can be critical to your success. All you have to do is put them on the food that’s tempting you and voila! It’s way too cute to eat.

2. Meeting Stunt Double

Business, business, business, money, money, money.

Meetings are boring, but for some reason people with briefcases are always scheduling them. Luckily, there’s an easy solution: Put a pair of googly eyes on a chair and have it attend your meetings for you. No one really pays attention in those things anyway, so this will free up your time to sleep, taking extra long lunches, and print out the boarding passes for your vacation.

3. Party Promoter

Whether you’re planning a wild get-together or just want to turn a regular, everyday encounter into a record-spinning, beer-guzzling moment, googly eyes can be your hype man/woman. All you have to do is keep a lot of googly eyes in your pocket and throw them up in the air whenever the mood strikes you. Boom. Instant party.

4. Babysitter

I do what I want

Childcare is expensive, so this hack is bound to save you loads of money. Sure, googly eyes aren’t the best at changing diapers or feeding your baby, but they kinda sorta make up for it with their intense devotion to watching your child’s every move.

5. Resume Padder

If you’re looking to get your foot in the door at a cool company, padding your resume is apparently the easiest way. One method to do that is to put a pair of googly eyes at the top of the page near your name. This will help you stand out from the crowd and is probably the funnest way to pad that otherwise boring sheet of paper.

6. Movie Game

We’re pretty sure we aren’t alone when we say movie theaters are too dark and quiet. That’s why we think it would be fun to liven things up by sticking a pair of googly eyes onto a movie screen and waiting for it to line up with one of the actor’s eyes. Then, every time that happens someone can blow an air horn or people can take selfies with it or yell, “Googly! Googly!” while taking shots of liquid cheese.

7. Office AssistantWish you had a personal assistant at work? Googly eyes are the new Microsoft paperclip. Just put them on your computer, ask them questions, and enjoy their sage advice about commas, email etiquette, and interoffice romance.

8. Big Brother Ambassador

Roger that, I see the suspicious poodle

Big Brother gets a bad rap sometimes, but googly eyes can easily change that. See a scary-looking security camera? Put some googly eyes on it. Spot a CIA agent watching a criminal network as they do criminal stuff? Give that agent some googly eyes. Guaranteed to make the long arms of the government 100% more friendly.

9. Crime Prevention Gadget

In Home Alone the father sets up an elaborate system of timed lights to make criminals think his family is home. But he still gets burglarized. Sad! All he really needed to do was put a few pairs of googly eyes on the windows and then those thieves would have quickly seen the house was full of people and not to be messed with. Lesson learned!


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