Picture this hypothetical situation that definitely doesn’t happen to us: Your coworker brings in donuts every Friday and you only eat three. Come Monday, you go into work and see that familiar pink box still sitting in the kitchen. There’s a maple bar inside (your favorite) and it looks good.
We know it’s tempting to go for it, but speaking from experience, stale donuts are not the breakfast of champions. So instead of eating it and letting your mouth down, here are five tastier, faster, and furiouser things you can do.
1. Post It On Social Media
Instead of just posting things you ate on social media, take it to the next level and post what you didn’t eat as well. Start with the donut and graduate to other things like free lollipops from your banker, a fish oil sample at Costco, and your friend’s hamster.
Putting eyes on it and naming the donut will automatically make it super cute and inedible. Then take your new friend Stale Sally out for some real food like Pad Thai or jam or whatever donuts like to eat.
3. Ask “What would Michelle eat?”
If you’re going to live by one rule, make it this one. Would Michelle eat the old donut, or would she eat grilled swordfish with a balsamic reduction? Answer: Neither. She would start a nationwide initiative to teach toddlers pilates. What have YOU done today?
When all else fails, just drink a lot of liquids. Water is the leading liquid available from most faucets, but if you decide to fill your bottle with lemonade, wine, or coconut milkshake, that’s okay too. You can never be too hydrated.
5. Learn Something New
Most people know that sad or happy feelings make you want to eat, but few know that confusion is an appetite suppressant. So use your break time at work to learn something new like Esperanto, how the office filing system works, or how to acid wash jeans.
In conclusion, we highly suggest always asking yourself, “Do I want this stale old donut in my belly, or would that space be better filled with a fresh new taco?” The choice is yours. It just takes a little control, visualization, and good ol’ ingenuity to become a happier snacker.