Bacon Sriracha Unicorn Diaries

10 Cute Animals With A Criminal Record

November 15, 2017

We here at Eat24 are purveyors of delicious food, cheesy puns, and cute animals. It’s what we do. That’s why we need to warn the Eat24 community about criminals posing as cute animals. Be on the lookout for these ten cold-blooded outlaws.

This fetching sloth.Β  Β 

Cuteness Rating: πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™
Criminal Rating: 😈😈😈😈😈

Crime(s): Loitering. Selling fireworks. Robbing a bank extremely slowly.

Look at this stone cold criminal. You may think he’s just hanging upside down, being adorable, but no. He’s doing upside down sit-ups to get buff. You take your eyes off this one and he’ll start masterminding a brilliant escape plan (if he’s not napping).

This terribly titillating tiger.

Cuteness Rating: πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™
Criminal Rating: 😈😈😈

Crime(s): Possession of Controlled Substance.

This monster was last seen fleeing the scene after trying to take a β€œman cub’s” coconuts. She is known as a master of disguise and loves scratches behind her ears. Be on the lookout for giant balls of yarn, loud purrs, or scattered remnants of illegal meats from Brazil.

This charming seal.

Cuteness Rating: πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™
Criminal Rating: 😈😈😈😈

Crime(s): Driving without a seatbelt, impersonating a marshmallow.

Oh the humanity! Look at those eyes. Those are the eyes of someone who slides down a snowy bank on their belly to grab some tasty fish. In truth, this criminal is on the loose and was last seen two months ago near some graham crackers and chocolate bars.

This bewitching giraffe.

Cuteness Rating: πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™
Criminal Rating: 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

Crime(s): Desecration of palm fronds, accessory to burglary

You think you’ve seen it all until you’ve seen a real monster like this guy. What a piece of work. Not only was he the lookout man for one of the crimes of the century, he is also in cahoots with no fewer than five members on the FBI’s Most Wanted.

This delightful blowfish.

Cuteness Rating: πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™
Criminal Rating: 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

Crime: Arson

How do you even set things on fire underwater? Just ask this mastermind behind some of the worst crimes on the seven seas. Be cautious when approaching as this blowfish is known to double, even triple in size when frightened.

This devilish otter.

Cuteness Rating: πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™
Criminal Rating: 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

Crime: Eating clamsΒ on his belly.

Look at this otter laugh. You know what he’s laughing at? The fact that he just swam to the bottom of the ocean, grabbed a mollusk, and cracked his shell on his belly. Last seen holding hands with another otter.

This eight-armed master thief.

Cuteness Rating: πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™
Criminal Rating: 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

Crime(s): Multiple burglaries, pickpocketing, practicing magic.

You know what’s dangerous? A criminal with two hands. You know what’s super dangerous? One with eight. This seemingly cute cephalopod is octo-handley responsible for nearly 88% of all thefts in the Pacific. Actually, right now check your pocket. Do you have your wallet, or did this octo-thief steal it before your eyes?

This fetching gecko.

Cuteness Rating: πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™
Criminal Rating: 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

Crime(s): Extortion. Violating probation. Master of disguise.

You may think that this cute lil’ guy is smiling. But no, he’s plotting your demise. Able to camouflage himself into any scenario, this creep hides in plain sight until it’s too late. Wanted in seven states, suspect is considered armed and adorable. Β 

This quack.

Cuteness Rating: πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™
Criminal Rating: 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

Crime(s): Bread robbery. Obscenity. Public Urination. Β Β 

Warning. If you are ever find yourself near a pond or manmade lake, be on the lookout for the most dangerous subject known to shores. With a bloodthirsty appetite for gluten, this duck was last seen galavanting with a goose, quacking and honking away plotting the next big crime.

This marvelous panda.

Cuteness Rating: πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™
Criminal Rating: 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

Crime(s): Sneezing adorably. Eating illegal bamboo.

This panda is one tough mother. That mask it’s wearing? That’s permanent. Obviously some sort of wacky super villain initiationΒ , the β€œmask” this creature wears hides their true identity. We once saw this panda demolish an entire crop of bamboo and then take a nap. Savage.


Do you know of any criminal activity with your cute animal? Post a picture of your pet on our Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.

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